Gentle Readers,
I come to you today a troubled hound - somewhat dogged, if you will. Or even if you will not, I am still most concerned about the current journalistic bent in favor of canines sized “cute”, as evidenced by a recent article in the Grey Colored Paper about the prevalence of small, dressable dogs as fashion accessories.
Woman’s Best Friend, or Accessory?Paige is what is known as a sleeve dog, an emblem of status since antiquity. Once toted by fashionable women inside the folds of their gowns, diminutive pets have been the favorites of nobles from Marie Antoinette to Elizabeth II. The pseudo-royals of Hollywood also favor them, actresses and gossip-column fixtures like Tori Spelling and Mickey Rourke.
Now, thanks in part to their red carpet visibility, compact breeds are more popular than ever. “We're seeing a nationwide trend toward smaller dogs,” said Niki Marshall Friedman, a spokeswoman for the American Kennel Club. For example, registration of the Brussels griffon has gone up 231 percent in the last 10 years; Norwich terrier registration has risen 91 percent.
Flaunted as fashion statements, pint-sized canines are, to some minds, the fur-bearing equivalent of a pair of Louboutin pumps or other accessory.
Harrumph, I say! I, Mordred T. Dog am many things - elegant, stately, majestic, imposing, damp, but “diminutive” is never a term that could be ascribed to my generously proportioned frame, and thus “cute” is out of the question. Knitters of adorable dogwear leave noble beasts of my dimensions out in the proverbial cold - no darling bee costumes or lamb-soft, fetching sweaters for us, just our own luxurious pelts between us and the elements. And I challenge you to find a gown sleeve that could contain my stately bulk. I have resigned myself to a lifetime status as a non-totable dog, but must our very own Dog Show USA hop on the chow wagon as well? I note that the presence of a “Cutest Dog” category, but whither one for “Awesomest” or “Most Splendid” or “My Goodness, How Stately!”? Again - harrumph.
In protest, I will now consume several pieces of unattended ham.
Yours, grumpily and largely,
Mordred T. Dog - Irish Wolfhound at VERY Large
