Gentle Readers,
A most curious thing has come to pass, and I, Mordred T. Dog, am as yet hard-pressed to find an explanation. As you may recall, earlier this year, a vicious band of marauding squirrels relocated the possessions of my Daddy, Morgane and me, as well of those of the 
Girl Who Sits Close to Daddy On the Couch but who is now our All the Time Mommy Girl from our various domiciles in various burrows to a magical land called Brooklyn. It would seem that it was just phase one of their campaign, however, as the squirrels then only relocated indoor possessions, such as couches, plates, and rather some fetching/delicious footwear.
They have intensified their strategy. It would seem that while I was in the other room very briefly resting my ever-vigilant eyes so that they might most optimally protect my family pack, the squirrels relocated some manner of fragrant, cone-shaped tree from the out-of-doors to the in-of-doors. More specifically, directly in front of the parlor window from which I do some of my most effective observery. And that was not the end of their cruel bedeviling – far from it. So as to ensure that their machinations would not escape our notice, they not only garishly bedecked the tree with various sparkly and/or glowy objects – but also festooned it with bulbs attached to our home's electrical sockets to produce an unmissable twinking light.
I need hardly tell you that I will neither be standing nor sitting for this sort of rodential mischief, and as soon as Daddy and our Mommy Girl are away from our home (I can tell that our Mommy Girl was most thoroughly upset by its appearance, for her face produced the salty water and she clung close to Daddy as they looked upon it.), I shall enlist Miss Morgane’s assistance in rending the horrible thing limb from sparkly limb.
This is just the sort of thing for which Daddy retains my services, and I am most happy to oblige him.
Most vigilantly and splendidly yours,
Mordred T. Dog
